


Being Honest

by maddieruth17



Category: The Office (US)
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Violence, Explicit Language, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-04
Updated: 2018-04-20
Packaged: 2019-03-27 03:16:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13871961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maddieruth17/pseuds/maddieruth17
Summary: When Roy attacks Jim in the office, it isn't his first time hurting someone. Pam acts odd during her apology to Jim, and for the first time since the merger, he can't bring himself to ignore it. A two or three part AU based around “Cocktails” (S3,E18) and “The Negotiation” (S3, E19).This is such a bad summary, I promise the story is better!





	1. Implications

Pam sat at her desk, keeping her head down and pretending to be busy with something on her computer. She didn’t want to talk to anyone, her head was still reeling from the previous night. It had all gone to hell so quickly. She started out the night back with her ex-fiance, optimistic about their future for the first time in years and then…

Then the real Roy had shown up.

Not the Roy that had been trying to get her back for the past few months, not the Roy she fell in love with eight years ago, no. This was the version of Roy that she had grown to resent. The one she had kept things from out of fear of what his reaction would be. 

She had thought she had the man she loved back, it was familiar and comforting in a time when everything else in her world was crumbling around her. 

Then she went and told him about that damn kiss.

 

_ “I want us to make it, I wanna fresh start…” _

 

_ “...I kissed Jim.” _

 

_ “What?” _

 

_ “Don’t yell…” _

 

_ “Don’t YELL?!” _

 

He had thrown his glass against the mirror behind the bar, shattering both of them in one go. She was already gathering her things when he turned back to her.

_ “This is over.” _

 

But it hadn’t been. Roy wouldn’t let it be over yet.

 

* * *

 

She had gotten home to her apartment and slid to the floor. She sat there, shaking and crying, for God knows how long before a knocking on the door had brought her back to reality. She’d stood and looked through the peephole, only to see Roy standing there. He hadn’t been drunk, that much she could tell. Pam had figured he just wanted to apologize, try to win her back again, like he had done with all their previous fights in the past. She had meant what she said, she was done, but she figured she’d at least hear him out. 

She’d opened the door, made eye contact with Roy, and all of a sudden she realized she was on the floor. Roy had pushed her inside, only to slam and lock the door behind himself. He had yelled and screamed at her but she couldn’t quite make out what he was saying. She’d realize later on that she had been in shock. 

Roy had never been violent before.  _ Ever. _ Yet here he was, standing in her apartment, having shoved her to the ground. She had managed to get up, and he just screamed at her louder. 

He called her a whore and a bitch. Said she deserved to rot in hell and that he was glad Halpert had seen her for the slut she really was. He’d grabbed her by the arms, and she had immediately felt them bruising. He shook her as he yelled and called her every name in the book. Finally, she had screamed back at him. 

_ “GET OUT ROY, GET THE HELL OU-” _ He hadn’t let her finish. He had slapped her across the face, and knocked her to the floor in the process. She was crying and she couldn’t quite catch her breath. She couldn’t really hear over the ringing in her ears but she knew he was still yelling. 

 

He kicked her in the ribs. Hard.

 

Once. Twice. Three times before he finally screamed one last insult at her.

_ “YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE, YOU DON’T EVEN DESERVE HIS LOVE, LET ALONE MINE.” _

He had stormed out then, slamming the door behind him and leaving her laying on her kitchen floor gasping for breath. She hadn’t even been able to sob anymore, everything hurt. 

She wasn’t sure how long she laid there, but finally the pain eased enough to the point that she felt she could get to her phone. She sat up and winced, every breath or slightest movement felt like someone was stabbing her. She needed a doctor, but no one could know about this.

Pam had never thought that she would find herself in a situation where she called an Uber to take her to the hospital, but that’s what she had done. The driver had given her a concerned look, and Pam had simply waved her off, saying she’d fallen. She could tell the woman didn’t believe her.

So much for being more honest in her life.

The doctor had told her she’d broken three ribs in her “fall”. He had looked at her with such worry and she knew they wanted her to call the police. She just couldn’t. She couldn’t explain why, she just….couldn’t. 

So the doctor had wrapped up her torso, told her to take it easy for the next month or so, and given her a prescription for some pain meds. He had looked mortified when she had asked if she could go back to work, but gave her a hesitant okay when he learned she was a receptionist.

 

So here she was, on a Friday afternoon sitting at her usual reception desk, tight wrappings around her ribs and pain meds in her purse. She had decided that she would only press charges if Roy continued to harass her. She doubted he would, he had truly seemed like he was satisfied with the way they ended things. She wished she could say the same.

Pam’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone giggling. She looked up only to see Karen sitting on Jim’s desk, smiling at him before she leaned down to whisper something to him.

Pam honestly didn’t know what was more painful, the three broken ribs, or being forced to watch Jim and Karen flirt about their weekend plans.

In her opinion it was the latter.

 

“Hey Halpert!” Pam’s head shot up at the horrifyingly familiar voice. Roy was standing in front of her desk, glancing between her and Jim. She looked over and saw Jim flash his eyes over to her before speaking.

“Hey…” 

There was silence as everyone tried to process the tension that had filled the room so suddenly. Then Roy moved towards Jim, and everything happened in a flash. “Roy! ROY!” Pam screamed for her ex to stop this, he had hurt her enough, couldn’t he just leave Jim alone? Angela screamed and Jim shoved Karen out of the way, seemingly preparing himself for a heavy fight.

Then it was just screaming and coughing and more pain. 

Dwight stood proudly, holding his pepper spray out and speaking calmly despite the obvious panic that still filled the room.

“Pam, please call security.”

 

* * *

 

 

Twenty minutes later, Roy was being put in the back of a police cruiser, pink slip from Dunder Mifflin in his pocket. The police had questioned Pam first, before moving on to Jim. He was sat in the back of an ambulance (a precaution the company insisted on), Karen hanging all over him.The second the officer had said he was finished up with her, Pam ran full speed to the stairwell.

That was as far as she got before her panic attack settled in. Between that and her now extremely painful broken ribs, breathing was almost impossible. She thought she was going to pass out, clawing at her throat as it seemed to close up on her. She wanted to scream, get help, but no sound came out.

She was hyperventilating, she was going to pass out, and in the midst of her panic attack she didn’t notice the sound of the stairwell door opening. 

Suddenly a pair of arms were around her, and a soft voice was instructing her to breathe. 

In. And out. In. and out.

Angela was an odd person, and Pam wasn’t exactly sure if she’d call her a friend, but right now she sure was acting like one. Angela held Pam and calmly instructed her on when to breathe in and out as she rode out the panic attack. When it was over, she didn’t let go, simply hugging Pam closer and letting her cry. When Pam was done, Angela didn’t say anything, she just guided her to the women’s bathroom and helped her clean her face a little bit.

“I can try to make a distraction so you can get to your car without anyone noticing if you would like.”

Pam thought she might cry again at the kind gesture. “That would be really helpful thank you.”

Angela just nodded as the two walked back out towards the parking lot. The two women were silent as they got into the elevator.

“I know I may not always agree with your choices, Pam, but no one deserves what Roy did to you. I’m sorry this happened. If you need a friend, I’m here for you.” That was all Angela said as she walked out of the elevator, leaving Pam stunned. There was no way Angela could’ve known. She’d worn long sleeves today to cover the hand-shaped bruises on her arms, and her wrappings were well hidden by her shirt. A million different thoughts raced through her mind as she waited to walk to her car. 

Pam saw Angela walk to Dwight, and whisper something in his ear. He just nodded, and then proceeded to shout at the top of his lungs. Everyone looked towards him in confusion, and Pam took that as her opportunity to speed walk to her car. She was out of the parking lot by the time everything had calmed, and sent Angela a thank you text when she got home. 

She took a quick look in the mirror by her front door and realized with a start how Angela had known what Roy had done to her.

With all her crying, the makeup she had put over the welp on her cheek had been washed off. There was a very distinct shape of a handprint on her cheek, red from the bursting of the capillaries beneath her skin.

All Pam could do was pray to God it would be gone by Monday. 

Oh God Monday. That was going to be hell. Pam sighed as she walked to her kitchen, trying not to focus on the last time she had been in that room, the pain that was inflicted on her. 

Instead she made herself some tea, got into her comfiest clothes, and settled in to watch Criminal Minds and Friends reruns all weekend. 

 

Anything to take her mind off the obvious, angry mark on her face and the implications it held. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So I know there isn't much Jim in this first chapter, don't worry! The next chapter is chock full of him. Lots of angst. Lots of resulting fluff. I won't hurt the babies too badly I promise! <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3


	2. Understanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Back with the second chapter here. I apologize if Jim seems a little OOC in this one, his character in season 3 was always a little hard to write for me. Hope you like the chapter! <3

Pam felt uneasy as she walked back into the office on Monday. The handprint on her cheek had faded so that you couldn’t even see it if you didn’t know it was there, that wasn’t the problem. She had an idea about how her coworkers would handle the awkwardness Roy left in his wake the previous Friday, and it wouldn’t be anything even resembling normal or tactful. That didn’t worry her either. 

 

What worried her was Jim. 

 

She had no idea what to expect from him, and she hated that. She knew Jim like the back of her hand, or...she used to. If she’s being completely honest (she’s trying), she’s a little angry with him. She understands that she hurt him. She understands why he left for Stamford. Hell, she doesn’t even blame him for moving on, she didn’t expect him to stay hung up on her forever. 

 

What she doesn’t understand is him pushing her away like this. She didn’t understand how he could say he loves her, call her his best friend, and then turn around and act so cold to her. This whole “just-civil-coworkers” thing he was forcing on her was still so oddly surreal. It felt like she was trying to play the role of someone else, someone she didn’t want to be. 

 

How do you pretend to not care about someone who means so much to you?

 

She supposed she would learn how, eventually, but the situation with Roy was a considerable set back. Your abusive ex-fiance doesn’t physically attack someone you don’t care about. 

 

They don’t physically attack someone who doesn’t care about you.

 

She didn’t care what he was trying to pull, he could pretend they meant nothing to each other all he wanted, she was going to at least try to set things right with him. She knows it’s ridiculous, but she feels partially responsible for Roy’s attack. She hates that she feels responsible for him, that he still has that kind of control over her, even after they’ve broken up. 

Pam shakes her head, trying to clear her mind of any thoughts involving Roy. She didn’t think she could handle another panic attack at work, despite now knowing that Angela would gladly help her.

As she sat down at her desk, Pam refocused her thoughts on Jim. She wanted to apologize to him, for getting him involved...well...more involved than he already was. She wanted to let him know that it wouldn’t happen again, despite his decision not to press charges. 

 

She was done with Roy.

 

She just needed Jim to know that.

 

* * *

 

She ended up not even being able to talk to him until the day was almost over. He kept his back to her whenever he was at his desk, and only made trips to the bathroom or breakroom once she got back. She knew he was avoiding her, at least more than usual, and she couldn’t stand it. 

Pam was sitting in the breakroom, drinking her tea when he came in. She couldn’t help but smile at him, but he flat out ignored her. 

 

Pam decided that too, hurt worse than the damn broken ribs. 

 

“Sorry I almost got you killed.” She winced internally at her attempt to revive their former dynamic.

Jim was blatantly unamused.

“Yeah. That was nuts.”

 

_ Okay...he’s not wrong. _

 

“He could’ve broken your nose or something...Crazy…”  _ Great start Pam, real nice _

“It’s just so stupid. I mean, getting back with Roy and everything. I mean what was I thinking right?” She almost wanted him to agree with her, tell her she was stupid for getting back with him. She knew he was angry and she wanted to give a chance to express that to her. 

 

What he actually said was so much worse. 

 

“No I think you guys really seem to have a strong connection.”

 

“Not anymore. It’s um..it’s completely over now.”

 

The face he made could almost be called a smile. “We’ll see. I’m sure you guys will find your way back to each other someday.”

Pam felt herself start to tear up. He was wrong. He was so, so wrong but there was no real way for him to know that. 

“Jim...I am so, so sorry.”  She felt blood rush to her cheeks and her throat start to sting as she tried to hold back her tears. He didn’t need to see her cry, that wasn’t his problem to deal with. She looked up from where she’d been looking at the table, expecting him to be gone. 

But no, he was still standing there. And he was staring at her, an odd look on his face. A mix of heartbreak and horror. 

Pam stared back for a moment, confused at his sudden change in demeanor.

 

Then she remembered.

 

The handprint.

 

Pam glanced at her reflection in the mirror Kelley had left on top of the counter, and sure enough, there it was.

The rush of blood to her cheeks when she had started to tear up had made it completely visible again, and of course she hadn’t worn any makeup to cover it today.

When she looked back at Jim she gasped. His face had morphed into one of pure fury. The that had built up in her eyes tears spilled over onto her cheeks. 

 

“Jim-”

 

“Pam what the hell is that?”

 

“..what?”

 

“Pam who the hell did that to you? Did Roy do that to you?!” He was yelling now, and Pam flinched and curled in on herself a bit. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him, and simply nodded her head. 

“Son of a-” Pam didn’t hear anymore after that, Jim’s words being cut off when he slammed the door. 

 

She didn’t know what she expected from Jim. But it sure as hell wasn’t that.

 

* * *

 

Jim slammed the soda down on his desk before gathering his things and barging into Michael’s office.

“I changed my mind, I’m pressing charges against Roy. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

Jim didn’t give Michael a chance to reply as he shut the door and stalked out of the office. He heard the footsteps behind him, but he didn’t slow his pace. It was either Karen or Pam, and he didn’t want to stop and talk to either of them at the moment. He was too angry. 

Jim had always been a very easy going person, he never really cared enough to get truly pissed off.

Then he saw that handprint on Pam’s cheek. Physical evidence that someone had put their hands on her, that someone had hit her.

 

He has never been this angry in his entire life.

 

But he wasn’t just angry at Roy, no he was too furious for it just to be directed at Roy. He just couldn’t for the life of him figure out who he was mad at, and that just made him even angrier.

Suddenly he felt a weak yank on his arm, and Jim realized the owner of the footsteps had caught up to him. He turned, ready to give an excuse to either Pam or Karen, but was shocked at who he saw.

Angela stood there, a meaner scowl than usual on her face, and every inch of her 5’1” body looked ready to strangle him.

Jim felt his face fall slack.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you have any idea how much she’s already been through?! The last thing she needs is you dragging her into a domestic violence case that she doesn’t want!”

 

All of Jim’s anger flooded back.

 

“Are you kidding me?! Angela he hit her, I can’t just let that go!”

“Well you have to! It’s none of your damn business anymore, and all you’ve done for the past three months is make sure Pam knows that! You’re either there for her, or you’re not, and you made it very clear that you don’t care!”

And all of a sudden Jim knew who he was the most angry at.

 

Himself.

 

He pushed her away. He pushed Pam right back into the arms of a man that had beaten and bruised her. He had been bitter, and spiteful, and basically handed her to Roy on a silver platter. He’d made it his mission in life to make sure she knew he didn’t care, and apparently he had succeeded. She hadn’t felt safe enough with him to tell him what Roy had done to her, and it was  _ his fault. _

 

Pam was beaten, God knows how badly, and he hadn’t even noticed. Obviously it happened long enough ago that she was starting to heal, he only saw that handprint by chance. How long had she been in pain without him noticing? Oh God what if that wasn’t the first time Roy had hit her? 

Jim realized he was crying just seconds before he realized he was going to throw up. He had just enough time to rush to the bushes, and was startled when he felt Angela’s hand on his back. He fell to his knees when he was done, the shame and heartbreak at the situation he had played a part in causing now feeling overwhelming. 

Angela sat next to him, but was silent for a while.

 

“Do you know how bad it is?” He didn’t want to know, but he needed to.

Angela sighed. “I found her Friday, after the police took her statement. She was having a panic attack in the stairwell. All her crying washed away the makeup she had covering up the handprint and she...she was clawing at her throat, she couldn’t breathe because of the panic attack, but there was something else wrong, I don’t know what. We sat there for half an hour before she could breathe normally again. I don’t know what he did to her Jim, but I get the feeling it’s a lot worse than what he was going to try to do to you.”

Jim thought he might throw up again. The thought of Pam like that made him feel physically ill, and the knowledge that he wasn’t there to help her made it a thousand times worse. How had he messed it up this badly?

“You can still fix this you know. You hurt her, really badly, but you can still make things right with her. You’re just not going to do that by reporting something she isn’t ready to make public. If he were still hurting her it would be completely different but as it is now...it’s her story to tell if and when she is ready. Not yours.”

Jim nodded in understanding. Angela was right, it was Pam’s story to tell. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t make sure Roy never hurt her again.

Jim turned to Angela as she got up.

“Thank you. For taking care of her.”

Angela gave him a sad smile. “She’s my friend.”

Jim smiled back, and stood to walk back towards his car.

 

He would make things right with Pam, but he had a few things to take care of first.


	3. Honest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry it took me so long to upload this part, this chapter was giving me a very hard time! It is a MUCH longer chapter than usual, so I hope that kind of makes up for the late upload ;)

Pam had gone to look for Jim after he had stormed out of the break room, but found that he and all of his stuff was gone. She had gone through the rest of the work day feeling numb, and collapsed onto her couch when she got home.

 

Pam was tired. She was so damn tired. That confrontation with Jim had left Pam feeling more devastated than anything else that had happened these past few weeks.

 

She thinks Jim must really hate her now. 

 

The look in his eyes when he’d seen the redness of her cheek, it was one she’ll never forget. He looked ready to kill someone, like he was disgusted. Pam told herself over and over that he wasn’t directing that disgust towards her, that it was most likely towards Roy’s actions.

 

There was just this small nagging voice in the back of her mind, one that sounded an awful lot like Roy’s voice, telling her that Jim is done. He’s done with her drama, her baggage.

 

Maybe Roy was right.

 

Maybe she didn’t really deserve Jim’s love. Maybe he really did see her as a slut.

 

These were the thoughts that just wouldn’t leave Pam alone, all week. She did everything she could to stay out of Jim’s way. Made sure she never made eye contact or spoke to him unless absolutely necessary, and even then she would only ever talk to him about work. She waited until he had eaten to take her lunch break, and made minimal bathroom breaks so she didn’t risk running into him. She wasn’t entirely sure why she was avoiding him. 

 

She just knew she didn’t want to risk seeing that look of disgust in his eyes again.

 

So she kept her head down at work, and the limited social interaction gave her some extra time. Pam supposed that there was at least one good thing to come out of this whole Roy fiasco, and that was her increased opportunities to sketch. It had been the only real thing keeping her sane these past few months. All of her frustrations, sadness, and anger was transferred onto her paper or her canvas. She let all of her anxiety and despair fuel her creativity and had created what was in her opinion, her best work yet.

 

Pam had fallen in love with watercolors. She must’ve filled at least four sketchbooks with just her watercolor pencil sketches alone. Something about how versatile it was, how she could convey so many different things just by using a different amount of water or paint, or even just a different brush or type of paper. She had actually made herself a little travel kit to bring with her to work, and began taking pictures of anything she wanted to paint later. Any down time she had at work was dedicated to working on her paintings and sketches, which lately consisted mostly of landscapes. Angry storms on beaches, cold and cloudy snowstorms in forests, and fiery sunsets backlighting overgrown fields.

Anything and everything she felt came out in those paintings, so in a way she was thankful for the extra down time to work on them.

She had begun to perfect another one of her hobbies though, and this one wasn’t anywhere near as relieving as painting. 

 

Pam had started to simply observe the office as the work day droned on, and she had noticed some (extra) odd behavior from Jim and Karen especially. 

All week they had both been exhausted, like they weren’t getting enough sleep again. It had actually been going on before Roy’s attack, but had settled for a while afterwards so Pam had thought they were over it. Now they were back to yawning excessively, and making at least six trips to the breakroom for coffee. Jim was...almost uninterested with Karen, while she went back and forth between being seemingly furious at him to acting like some kind of doting housewife.

 

At first it threw Pam off, but then she reminded herself that it wasn’t her business anymore. Jim was just her coworker now, and his relationship problems or lack thereof were none of her concern.

 

At least that’s what she kept repeating to herself.

 

It was finally Friday again, and Pam would swear this had been the longest week of her entire life. She was insanely ready to get home, order a pizza, and curl up on her couch to watch some Netflix. She needed to escape for awhile, distract herself from the fact that she had lost her best friend. Pam shook her head as she got off the elevator and headed towards the parking lot. She really needed to stop thinking about him. 

 

“Beesly!” The sound of someone calling out her last name made Pam stop in her tracks. There was only one person who called her that, but that wasn’t Jim’s voice.

Pam turned and saw it was Karen who had called her name.

 

A very angry Karen at that. 

 

Pam’s brows drew up in confusion and but she waited for Karen to get to her.

“Uh...hey Karen. What’s wro-?” Pam’s question was cut off suddenly as Karen slapped her across the face as hard as she could. Pam’s immediately felt as if it was on fire, and tears sprang to her eyes. The all too familiar feeling caused her to begin to hyperventilate, as Karen’s hand had landed right on the spot Roy’s had. All too suddenly Pam realized Karen was yelling at her.

 

“You fucking whore! You just couldn’t stay away from him could you?! He’s not yours to mess with anymore you manipulative, ugly, bitch!! He’s mine now okay?! Can you stand to get that through to your slutty, thoughtless brain?!” Karen shoved Pam after every cruel word she spat at her, almost causing Pam to fall several times. She knew she should try to stand up for herself, she just couldn’t seem to get herself to calm down. Her mind kept flashing images of that horrible night, and Karen’s harsh pushing had reaggravated her still tender ribs. Pam couldn’t seem to get her breathing under control, which just made everything so much worse. She hated being this weak. 

 

Pam looked up just in time to see Karen getting ready to slap her again, her body winding up to hit Pam even harder than before. Pam closed her eyes in preparation for the impact, but realized after a bit that it never came. She opened her eyes again only when she feels a familiar pair of arms come around her shoulders, and is stunned to see Karen’s wrist caught in Jim’s hand.

 

Pam thought he looked furious and disgusted when he saw Roy’s handprint on her cheek, well that was  _ nothing _ in comparison to the look he had on his face now.

 

Only now it was all directed at Karen. 

 

“Angela, can you make sure Pam gets home okay please?” Jim spoke without taking his eyes off of Karen, his voice stern but warbled with anger. Pam looked to her side and saw Angela nod, and looked back to Jim again before Angela started to turn her away. 

 

He lifted his angry gaze from Karen briefly to look at Pam, and she couldn’t help but calm when she saw his eyes soften immediately upon finding hers. The next moment she was being led away by Angela so she couldn’t be totally sure, but Pam could’ve sworn she saw tears in Jim’s eyes. 

 

As Angela sofly shut the car door behind her, Pam noticed that she was in her own little blue car, and not Angela’s small tan one. 

“What about your car?” Pam questioned Angela once she got back in the car on the driver’s side.

Angela shrugged her off as she started the car. “Oh it’s alright, I know someone who can pick me up from your apartment so I can get it afterwards.” Pam nodded numbly before the two women fell back into silence.

* * *

Jim was tired. More tired than he had been in his entire life. He had been working all week on getting things sorted so he could finally fix things with Pam. The first thing he did after his talk with Angela was go to the police station. He told them he had decided to file charges after all, and while they had been slightly suspicious about his delayed reaction, the police had processed his request all the same. Roy had been apprehended and put in prison by twelve o’clock that night, and was now awaiting his trial since he couldn’t afford bail. Jim’s lawyer told him that most likely Roy would just get a fine due to his lack of a record, but that he would be issued a restraining order and not be allowed within 500 feet of Jim’s person at any time.

 

Jim was pretty sure he would never leave Pam’s side again, so that was good enough for him for the time being. If Pam decided she wanted to press charges later, then he would fully support her on that. This seemed to be the only way he could protect her without giving away information she wanted to keep to herself. 

The police had made it easy on him, and Jim was exceedingly thankful for that. 

When Michael told corporate that Jim was pressing charges after all, they freaked. The company was concerned he would try to sue them as well, and even offered him a huge pay raise as compensation. 

 

And well, who was Jim to turn that down. 

 

Now all he had to do was end things with Karen.

 

Karen had not let it be that simple. 

 

Jim had gone home that night and told her they needed to talk, and she had instantly gone into defense mode. She had kept him up with fighting every single night that week, not listening to him when he said he just couldn’t be with her anymore. He told her over and over that it wasn’t something she had done and no, he hadn’t cheated on her. She just wouldn’t let him let her down gently, no matter how damn hard he tried. She kept dragging Pam into it, accusing him of cheating on her with Pam, saying Pam was manipulating him into leaving her, yada yada yada.

Jim had refused to comment, not wanting to bring Pam into this when she wasn’t totally the cause. Yes he loved her and yes that was the main reason he was breaking up with Karen, but there had always been reasons for them to break up. Pam’s newfound availability didn’t change that. 

 

Karen insisted on blaming every single one of their relationship issues on Pam, despite the fact that she had nothing to do with them. Jim had become fed up with it last night and had finally admitted that he did still love Pam, and that his feelings for her  _ were  _ responsible  _ in part _ for this break up. 

 

All Karen heard was that Pam was responsible, which is not what Jim had said  _ at all.  _ She had started screaming again, asking him over and over again “WHAT THE HELL CHANGED JIM?! HUH?!” But Jim had refused to tell her that. Because what had changed his mind, his heart, was that damn handprint on Pam’s cheek. The story of how that handprint got there wasn’t Jim’s to tell, so he didn’t. 

 

Karen had been livid and had stormed out of his apartment, slamming the door behind her. 

Jim had known she was angry, he could understand that. He had used her and it wasn’t fair of him to do that. He must’ve apologized a million times for that this past week. Karen wasn’t having it though. In her mind this was all on Pam Beesly.

 

He just never would’ve expected her to actually act on that anger. 

Jim heard Pam getting up and getting ready to leave behind him, and it took every ounce of control to not get up and follow her. Not being able to talk to her this week had killed him, but he knew if he did he would probably end up blurting out that he still loved her. He needed to sort everything out before he could tell her that though, so he kept to himself. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Karen rush past him. Jim jumped up in a panic, trying to grab all of his stuff so he could catch up to her and stop her. Karen got to the elevator before him though, and the doors closed on him before he could get in. Jim started to slam the elevator button in a panic, praying for it to get to him faster. He gave up after a bit though, and instead ran to the stairwell. 

 

Jim got to the lobby just in time to see Karen slap Pam across the face through the window. 

He froze, hearing her muffled yelling through the glass. He felt his face flush with anger. Jim didn’t think he had ever wanted to hit a woman before, but damn if he wasn’t close to wanting to right now. He found himself storming outside, his fists clenched in fury. 

 

Jim saw Karen raise her hand again, and was horrified to see her draw her arm up all the way behind her head. 

 

This time he was there.

 

This time he could stop it.

 

He wasn’t sure how he got to them so fast, but the next thing he knew, he had Karen’s wrist in his hand. Jim found himself glaring down at Karen as she whipped her head around to look at him, her scowl only deepening. 

 

Jim saw Angela run up out of the corner of his eye.

 

_ Get Pam away. Get Pam away. Get Pam away. _

 

That was all he could think. Pam had been hit, she was hyperventilating, and she was clutching her arms around her torso. The sight of all of that combined with the image of Pam getting slapped made him want to cry and be sick at the same time, but he needed her to get away from all of this. 

 

“Angela, can you make sure Pam gets home okay please?” Angela nodded, and Jim lifted his eyes for just a moment to look at Pam. She met his eyes, one of her hands holding her cheek. Jim felt his face soften at the sight of her, and his heart fluttered the way it always did when he caught her eyes. God he loved her. 

 

This ended now. He finished this, and told her everything  _ today. _

 

Jim caught sight of Pam’s reddening cheek as Angela turned her away, and he felt his furry at Karen return full force. His gaze lowered to her slowly, and he could feel the urge to scream at her rising in his throat.

 

She beat him to it.

 

“What?! Oh, did I hurt your little whore?! Did I damage her fucking slutty face Jim!? Well hell I wonder ho-”

“Don’t.” Jim’s voice came out hard and low.

 

“Excuse me!?”

 

“I said. Don’t.” He repeated himself for her, barely louder than before.

“Don’t you fucking  _ dare  _ say that about her  _ ever  _ again or so help me God I will make your life a living hell Karen do you hear me?” Jim didn’t think he had ever spoken so harshly to a woman before, his voice came out like a growl and he could see Karen’s face falter in fear for just a moment.

 

“You can’t hurt me anymore than you already have.” She yanked her wrist out of his grip as she growled back at him, and Jim brought his hand to rub the bridge of his nose.

 

“Karen...I can never tell you how sorry I am alright? I fucked up. I admit it. I’ve apologized a million times and I just don’t know what to do anymore. But this, all of this? None of this is Pam’s fault! It’s mine. So blame me. Hate me. Hit m-!”

 

Jim was cut off by a hard slap on the cheek. He sighed as he turned back to look at Karen.

 

“Fine. You win. We’re done.” That was the last she said before she turned and stormed back into the office, leaving Jim standing in the parking lot stunned.

 

Done. They’re done.

 

Thank God. Now he could talk to-

 

Pam.

 

Jim took off in a sprint to his car.

 

He needed to get to Pam’s apartment.

* * *

Pam and Angela hadn’t really spoken much on the drive home. It wasn’t tense or awkward, and Pam appreciated the silence. She needed time to process what had just happened. She felt like she had bits and pieces of a really huge story and it was beyond frustrating that she couldn’t figure it all out. 

 

Pam invited Angela inside until her ride got there, but she had refused, saying she was meeting them somewhere within walking distance. Pam had shrugged and thanked her yet again before Angeal left.

 

Pam had gone to her room and changed before walking back out into the main room to make herself some tea.

Now she was standing in her apartment, frozen. The burning sensation on her cheek hadn’t faded much, and Pam could feel the panic beginning to rise in her chest. 

 

Standing in that room, with that feeling on her cheek was eerily familiar and it was causing Pam to have flashbacks to the night of Roy’s attack.

 

Flashbacks to that night assaulted her senses: Images of Roy’s angry face flashed behind her eyelids, and the sound of his cursing echoed in her ears. The smell of a mix of Roy’s sweat, cologne, and something else that she couldn’t quite pinpoint seemed to linger in the room.

 

And oddly enough, the coppery taste of blood.

 

A new memory of that night resurfaced with the taste. Pam had bitten her tongue when Roy slapped her, hard enough that a little blood had spilled from the corner of her mouth when she fell to her side.

 

Pam realized what the third scent had been, her own blood, and felt sick to her stomach at the revelation. She never had been good with blood. She felt dizzy, and had to work hard to control her breathing. 

 

Pam eventually found herself on the couch, and realized she didn’t remember moving from the kitchen. The soft feeling of her throw pillows on her bruised cheek grounded her, and the flashbacks began to fade. As her breathing evened out again, Pam felt her eyelids grow heavier, the dramatic events of today having exhausted her.

* * *

A frantic knocking woke Pam with a start. For a horrible moment she was back at that night again, about to let Roy in only to have him hit her in the face. Then she realized the sun was still up, and took a few calming breaths before she walked to the door. 

 

Pam looked through the peephole….only to see Jim standing on the other side.

 

He looked anxious, with his hands stuffed in his pockets and his eyes dashing all over the place.

Pam hurried to unlock and open her door, and stared as Jim’s head shot up to look at her.

As they both stood there stunned, Pam took the time to really look at Jim, something she hadn’t been able to do in weeks.

He looked so tired.

 

Exhausted actually.

He had dark bags under his eyes and he seemed paler than usual. His clothes were disheveled and seemed to sag on him a bit. Had he lost weight? God, she hated to even think it, but he looked awful.

 

Though Pam imagined she probably didn’t look much better.

This was when she noticed that his face was pinched up in a mix of worry and shame.

This confused Pam the most. What did he have to be ashamed about?

 

She wasn’t sure how long they stood there, just taking each other in, but finally he spoke. 

 

“Pam...hi...God I had this whole speech planned out but it’s just gone now. I just really think we need to talk…”  _ Wow Jim, good job, great start. _

 

Pam couldn’t help but swear internally. She figured this was inevitable with the way they had left things. They had enough to talk about without Karen slapping her in the face, so it seemed safe to assume this would take a while.

 

Pam couldn’t seem to get the words out though, so she nodded her head and stepped aside, opening the door a little wider so he knew to come inside.

 

Jim nodded as well and ducked his head a bit as he walked in.

 

“Um...have a seat if you want.” Pam sat down on her couch as she spoke. Jim nodded again but remained standing. He seemed to be psyching himself up to something, so Pam sat in silence while he thought.

 

She almost jumped when his head shot up again, his eyes finding hers immediately.

 

“Pam I...Okay first of all I just...I can’t tell you how sorry I am for...well everything really. God I’ve screwed up with you so much lately and I just...Pam I will never be able to apologize enough for that. Don’t say that I don’t need to apologize, because I do. As far as what happened with Karen today, that’s a bit of a long story. I’m honestly not really sure where to start anymore.” Jim’s words drifted off and his face scrunched up again, though this time it was in contemplation.

 

Pam shrugged.

 

“Maybe...with the day in the break room?” her voice came out softer than she wanted, but when Jim looked at her, and Pam could’ve sworn she saw him smirk a bit.

 

He took a deep breath and crossed his arms before he spoke again.

 

“Alright, fair enough Beesly.”

 

God Pam had missed hearing him call her that. She felt her lips curl up a bit in response, and noticed his smirk had blossomed into a full on grin.

 

Though his face fell a bit as he prepared himself to start his story.

 

“Well...after I saw that handprint on your cheek. I don’t know it was like something snapped in me. Like I was caught between wanting to find Roy and kill him or running to the police and making sure he never saw the light of day again. The thought that someone had hurt you like that, it made me want to die I was so angry. I was headed to the police station to turn him in-”

 

Pam felt her eyes widen in panic. Oh God no. She didn’t want to turn Roy into the police, she couldn’t handle having to go through all of this in a trial she-

 

“No, Pam don’t worry, I didn’t tell the police about it.” Jim must’ve seen the sheer terror on her face, because he was holding his arms out, almost as if he was trying to calm some sort of large animal.

 

Pam made a mental note to tease him about that later and gestured for him to continue.

 

“Alright, well Angela caught up to me in the parking lot. Chewed me out pretty badly actually.” Jim chuckled at the memory. “She made me realize that it was your story to tell. Though I also realized that I was more at fault for all of this than I would like to admit....God Pam I just pushed you right to him! And then you didn’t even feel like you could talk to me about it because, I mean God it wasn’t like I even gave you the chance to say more than two words to me! I’m so sorry for that. All of a sudden I just couldn’t help but wonder, how many times had he done this, how long had you been hurt and I didn’t even notice, what else did he do to you, did he-?” Jim’s voice caught and his hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. The thought of all the things Roy could’ve done to her made him want to be sick again. He made no attempt to get rid of the tears that were gathering in his eyes now, and looked up at Pam before continuing. 

 

Pam let her tears flow freely as she listened to Jim speak, the knowledge that he still cared being nearly overwhelming. She said nothing though, and waited for him to speak again.

 

“She helped me realize that yeah, I messed up. Really badly. But I could still at least try to fix it. So I went to the police, and told them I had changed my mind. I pressed charges on him for the attack in the office the other week. He couldn’t afford bail so he’s being held for now. My lawyer thinks he’ll just get a fine but I have a restraining order out on him now. Pam I will never let him hurt you like that again. Ever.” Jim paused to let Pam absorb everything he had just said. She sat there with an odd look on her face, tears still streaming down her cheeks. She didn’t speak so he went on.

 

“The reason it took me so long to tell you all of this, the reason Karen did what she did today, is that I’ve been trying to end things with her. Every night this week actually. She just wouldn’t accept that I hadn’t cheated or that I wasn’t being manipulated somehow. She kept trying to blame all of our problems on you even though that couldn’t be farther from the truth. She reacted the way she did today because last night...last night I finally admitted that I’m still in love with you.” 

 

Pam sucked in a breath and darted her eyes up to his at the words.

 

Jim bent down onto his knees in front of Pam on the couch, grabbing her hands in his in an attempt to ground her. 

 

“Pam Beesly, I am in love with you. I have been in love with you from the moment I met you and I will be in love with you for the rest of my life. Karen and I...we’re over, and God that whole relationship was just a huge mistake. I’ll never be able to apologize enough for that but-”

 

Jim was cut off as Pam grabbed his face and crashed her lips against his. He kissed her back almost immediately and brought his hands to cup her cheeks as well. She sighed and moved her hands to the back of his neck as he tilted his head, deepening the kiss. His tongue danced with hers in a desperate and passionate way that made her muscles tighten, only to relax when he pressed his lips to hers again in a long, sweet, unbreaking kiss.

 

She pulled away after a while, not sure if they had been kissing for minutes or hours.

 

Pam pressed her forehead to hers before leaning back to look him in the eye.

“Jim Halpert. I love you. So, so much.” Tears fell from both of their eyes as she said it, the smallest but brightest of smiles forming on their faces. 

 

Jim didn’t think he had ever heard anything so beautiful as Pam Beesly saying that she loved him. His cheeks ached from the smile on his face, and his heart was full in that moment.

 

Jim moved to kiss her again, lowering his arms to her ribs to pull her closer, but jumped back when Pam cried out in pain.

 

Jim felt his eyes widen and his stomach drop as he realized Roy really  _ hadn’t  _ just slapped Pam.

Having recovered from the bite of pain, Pam looked up to Jim with wide and sad eyes. The look of devastation on his face making her want to fall apart all over again.

 

“I guess it’s my turn to tell you what happened now, huh?”

 

Jim’s face was frozen in the same, mortified expression as he nodded, not quite able to meet her eyes. Pam pulled on his arm a bit, signalling him to move up to sit next to her on the couch. He settled in before reaching his arms out awkwardly, wanting to hold her but terrified of hurting her again. Pam sensed his hesitation and moved to sit across from him, grabbing his hands in hers again. She took a deep breath and looked up to look him in the eye before she spoke, encouraged by the look of love and patience on his face.

 

“The night of that corporate party you, Karen, Michael, and Jan went to, a bunch of us from the office went to Poor Richards for drinks. For a while it was like things used to be between Roy and I. I had missed that so much and I just...I wanted to at least try. I told him that if we were going to be together again I wanted to do things right. To be honest with each other. I told him about our kiss...and he just got so mad...he threw things and was yelling and I told him it was over....but later that night he showed up at my apartment. I thought he was just trying to apologize so I opened the door and...he pushed me inside and started yelling at me…” Pam dipped her head as the tears started to gather in her eyes again.

 

“H-he said I was a whore. Said I deserved to rot in hell for what I did...that he was glad you finally saw that I was a slut. He had grabbed me by the arms then and...well…” Pam took a deep breath as she took of the zip up hoodie she had been wearing over her tee-shirt, revealing the blue and yellow bruises Roy had left on her arms. She couldn’t make herself look up at Jim’s face, but she heard his sharp intake of breath.

 

Jim was in disbelief. He thought he was ready to hear it but God he wasn’t. Then seeing more evidence of Roy hurting her. Grabbing her hard enough to bruise so badly. He wanted to throw Roy in a deep, dark, whole and let him rot there. Jim lifted one of his hands, his fingers barely brushing over her arms as he fought back the tears that had formed in his eyes again. He looked up at Pam, only to see that she had hung her head in shame. He moved his hand to her cheek and kissed her on her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, and finally her lips before resting his forehead against hers.

 

“It’s okay baby, I’m here.”

 

Pam took another few deep breaths before continuing. 

 

“I yelled at him to get out. That was when he slapped me. It just...I was so caught off guard and he was so strong I got knocked to the floor with the force of it. My tongue was bleeding, so I think I must’ve bitten it when he hit me...but then he...he kicked me….in the ribs…” Pam could barely get the words out, having started sobbing a while ago. Jim just squeezed her hands and kissed her face again. Pam pulled away and looked off at the wall before she lifted her shirt, left now only in her sports bra.

 

Jim probably would’ve been exstatic to see Pam in just her bra in any other circumstance. 

 

But this was no happy sight.

 

Pam’s ribs were a mosaic of blues, blacks, reds, and yellows. There were clear indentations on the surrounding skin from tight wrappings, having been removed only just before Jim had gotten there. Jim felt his face morph into a look of absolute furry and devastating sorrow. A sob he hadn’t known he was holding onto broke itself free from his throat, and Jim thought he could actually feel a part of his soul break.

 

“He kicked me three times, as hard as he could. Then he yelled at me again....Jim he said...he said I didn’t even deserve your love ‘let alone his’...I was just being honest and he...I just-” Pam couldn’t keep the sobs at bay anymore after that, crumbling into Jim’s arms as she cried. Jim gently pulled her into his lap and wrapped his arms around her as softly as possible. 

 

Jim wanted to kill him.

 

Roy had tried to break her, in more ways than one, and he had left her with far too many scars. Pam was crumbling, but Jim would be there to pick up every. last. piece. He would be there for therapy, hospital visits, police statements, testimonies in court, everything. He was never leaving her side again.

 

Jim held her until the sobs turned to whimpers, and the whimpers turned to sniffles. He kissed her on the forehead and whispered words of love and encouragement until she pulled away, and wiped the tears from her cheeks when she did.

 

“I love you. You deserve...every good thing in the world Pam. You deserve so much more than I will ever be able to give you. My love is the absolute  _ least _ that you deserve.” Jim’s voice was wrought with conviction, his face more serious than it had ever been, all in an attempt to convey to her just how true his words were. Pam gave him a watery smile before leaning in to kiss him again. Her love for him in that moment was too strong to communicate with just words, but it was evident in the way she pressed her lips to his.

 

When they broke apart Jim held her face in his hands and looked into her eyes.

  
“That’s  _ me _ just being honest.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it! I hope you guys enjoyed this little fic of mine because I've loved writing it! Love you all so much and thank you for all the amazing support you've given me over the course of this little series of mine! <3<3<3<3<3


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